The last time the stock market tanked, I opined that my loss was like having owned two Mercedes that ended up in the Rock River, and I'd never even had the chance to drive either.
I boohooed about that until a few years ago when I regained the loss.
But when I read the Washington Post headline, "Dow tumbles 600 points, wiping out all gains this year" on Tuesday morning, I looked outside my office window and wondered what kind of vehicles I might be theoretically sending this time around to the river's bottom.
Hopefully, old used cars, if any. I'm not sure, though, because I am afraid to look at my portfolio before my Dec. 17 annual meeting with my financial advisor, even though I think things should be better.
You see, I'd made some changes in my holdings this year after I was spooked by whatever President Donald Trump was doing at the time. It was a few months after he tweeted in January that his "nuclear button" is larger and more powerful than that of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.
Being that I'm 10 years closer to retirement since the Great Recession, I'm looking for more security.
So I talked with my financial adviser — and against his advice to not panic, to stay the course because the underlying economy was good — I flip-flopped and put more money into bonds than stocks.
For months I regretted that move as the stock market kept climbing and I was missing out big time. The Dow Jones Industrial Average's highest closing record was set on Oct. 3 at 26,828.39.
I'd kept a note on my desk for months to go see my financial adviser with my tail between my legs to ask him to switch things again and put more of my money in stocks and less in bonds. But I procrastinated and didn't do it.
And then Tuesday came, and I breathed a bit of a sigh of relief, even though my financial adviser had reminded me mid-year that I still have a good chunk in stocks.
So, there's that.
The Dow closed at 24,285.95 on Friday.
And the clock keeps ticking closer to retirement.
Georgette Braun: 815-987-1331; firstname.lastname@example.org; @GeorgetteBraun